Here's Where It Goes Off The Rails.

From time to time this site will employ blue humor. I should really say "brown humor". We love us some poop stories and jokes. Like this one:

So as you've read my ass has been hurting. Turns out I have/had a hemoroid. I say "had" because I went and took a big dump after lunch and when I went to wipe it was like I stumbled upon a double murder in my ass crack. For reals. Like two people were brutally murdered with a log of shit. Like they were bludgeoned to death in there. Just horrific.

Sorry, to break your cherry like this, but I don't think it's fair to give you the impression that this sort of post isn't going to happen. I'm pretty sure my wife has just grabbed her head in disbelief and is hoping that none of her friends ever read this. But honestly, is this worse than me jumping in the Willamette River behind a JC Penny's naked yelling "I AM THE SNOWBUCK!" This was to be expected as exhibited by a previous pattern of behavior.